Candace Cameron Bure, Jennie Allen on What Makes a God-Honoring Marriage
By Moveiguide® Contributor
Candace Cameron Bure sat down with author Jennie Allen to talk about how emotional health and faith can impact marriage relationships.
The pair discussed how they had to learn what it meant to be a godly wife versus a wife who only wanted to please her husband.
“So, we would get in a fight, and he would—it’s pretty impressive actually—he would look at me like he was listening, but I don’t know that he was. And then he would go, ‘Mm, we’ll talk about this tomorrow,'” Allen described her marriage early on. “He would lay down and roll over and go to sleep. I would be weeping, weeping by myself and not have any power or way to like get his attention.”
“And that was so isolating and difficult. And again, I just don’t think he had the skills or the tools to know what to do when I was upset. He just blamed himself,” she continued. “And it was just, you know, get over it.”
Allen soon began to realize she was trying to please her spouse more than please God.
“And so we, you know, fast forward, I had to learn to cope, and I really kind of killed my emotions too,” Allen said. “I had done that growing up, and I kind of knew how to turn them off. And I really became a shell of who I was and changed a lot in those years. And I look back at that part of our story, and I feel really sad that I cared a lot more about pleasing him than I did being healthy or whole or pleasing God.”
However, the couple entered counseling, and it “changed” their marriage.
“He is the person who loves me as Christ loves the church,” Allen said of her husband. “He is the person who honors me above anyone. He is so kind to me. He is the person who sees my gifts and says, ‘You’re gonna say yes to that, because that’s good for the kingdom.’ And I’m going, ‘I’m kind of tired.’ He’s like, ‘No, you’re gonna go.'”
Bure also struggled with the same feelings when it came to honoring her husband.
“I so desperately want, have wanted, to be honoring to my husband and pleasing to my husband and be a godly wife. And these were all things I was still learning because I didn’t grow up essentially in a Christian household,” she said of her marriage early on.
“I put so much value into being the best and most honoring wife that I could be, which I still wanna do to this day,” she added. “Like, I’m glad I did. But sometimes to the point where I’m like, ‘…I’m valuing pleasing him so much that I’m not, I’m kind of forgetting about myself and who I am.”
The actress previously opened up about her secret to her long-lasting marriage with her husband, Val Bure.
“No marriage is picture perfect. Not one. And certainly not ours. But through thick and thin, ups and downs, God has blessed us tremendously with guidance and perseverance. I believe God is the secret sauce ?,” wrote Bure in a post celebrating their 25th anniversary.
“Above all, we just want what’s best for each other,” Candace told Us of her marriage. “We want to do everything we can to stay together. And a lot of times it just means being selfless and putting your sense of control aside and going, ‘How do we work on this together?’ There’s a lot of humility in marriage, let’s just say that. You’ve got to put your pride aside.”
Movieguide® previously reported on Bure:
Candace Cameron Bure opened up about why she and her family left Los Angeles.
“Not everyone in Hollywood lives behind guard gates,” the Great American Family actress told Fox News. “We weren’t behind gates, and we’ve had quite a few problems over the years with people, just, cameras and hiding, and people just coming up to our door.”
“It’s amazing what people feel they can do,” Bure said. “And wanting to be a part of your life in some way. Some of it is innocent, some of it wasn’t. But it’s quite unnerving when you’re just trying to be a person and live life, and you don’t know what’s around the corner.”
There has been much speculation about where Bure moved, but she confirmed that although she and her husband are not in Los Angeles, they are still in California.
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