Candace Cameron Bure, Jennie Allen: How Vulnerability Strengthens a Family
By Movieguide® Contributor
Author and evangelist Jennie Allen joined Candace Cameron Bure’s podcast to talk about how going through hard times together develops a strong, close family.
Allen described how she and her husband Zac went through a tough time financially, which took a toll on her husband mentally and physically.
One day, Zac sat everyone down for a family meeting to discuss where he was emotionally and where the family was financially.
Despite Allen’s uncertainty of telling their kids, she is grateful they did.
“And I just think this is such a great picture of why we’re going to do hard things with our kids and why we’re going to have these conversations and why we’re going to come to our kids even when we’re sad and say it,” Allen told Bure.
After the family meeting concluded, one of their kids sent Zac a heartfelt text that will forever be engrained in their hearts.
The text message read:
Dad, sitting here just crying and thinking about what you’re going through. I know you’re asleep and I’ll tell you in person, but I want you to know I’m so proud of the father and businessman that you have been for me and taught me to be. I see your work ethic, vision, and execution every day and it breaks my heart to see a dream not come to fruition. But all I can think about amidst grieving with you is how proud I am that you’re my dad. I don’t think I’d be crying if I didn’t love you and think of you as a best friend. That alone is something I’ll continually pray for with my future son. I love you, Dad. And I know I don’t tell you enough, but I’m so proud of you and will follow you into battle anywhere. And if you and Mom need anything out of me, I’ll be there.
“When that text came through—and I had doubted whether we should bring them into our emotions and what we were going through, ’cause it just felt like a burden, and they don’t have to carry it with us, you know,” Allen said. “And then I look at that, and I’m like, that’s connection, right? We’re talking about the point of emotions and ultimately, it’s connection. For us to know each other better, for us to walk through things together.”
Allen went on to explain that the way to get a close family is to “go through things together.”
“You talk about it, and you use your words, and you say what you’re feeling, and you bring it up, and you work it out, rather than holding onto things,” she continued.
While that may seem like a daunting task, Bure and Allen encouraged their listeners to start by letting family members into their lives. “Take your child to lunch or dinner,” Bure urged.
“Apprenticeship is an old, antiquated idea, although many professions still have it—electricians, plumbers, that kind of thing. But it used to be the way of life,” Allen added. “You would apprentice to learn to do anything. And many times it was with your parent.”
“And so, that’s ultimately what we’re doing. We’re apprenticing them into grownup life. We’re showing them how to fight, how to have friendship, how to work,” she explained.
Allen and her husband continue to vulnerably share their struggles. In a recent post, Allen shared that her husband’s depression returned.
“And [Zac] said…. Tell the world my story. I want men to know and anyone who might struggle with overwhelming sadness or fear- they aren’t alone,” she wrote.
Dealing with difficult emotions and vulnerability is something Allen explores in her recent book “Untangle Your Emotions: Naming What You Feel and Knowing What to Do About It.”
“Feelings aren’t something to fix; they are something to feel. As we discover how to name and navigate our emotions, we’ll learn how they can draw us closer to the God who built us—soul, mind, and heart,” a description of the book reads.
Movieguide® previously reported on Allen:
Candace Cameron Bure and author Jennie Allen explain why emotional moments are “opportunities to trust God more.”
“Everybody’s emotional because we’re built in the image of God,” Allen said during an appearance on “The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast.” “God’s way is to notice the emotion, to name the emotion, to feel the emotion, because these are gifts that God’s given us, and we’re supposed to feel them and then to share them with people, especially if they’re significant.
She and Bure talked about the anxieties people can have about showing negative emotions, like anger or sadness, and why they should express those feelings anyway.
“When we’re wrong, when other people wrong us, the potential for more intimacy is on the other side of that,” Allen explained.
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