By Kayla DeKraker
Former Olympian Shawn Johnson and her husband Andrew East talked about the dynamics of a godly relationship and whether or not the goal of marriage is happiness.
“We’ve been through some hard things as a couple,” East said on their “Couple Things” podcast. “We’ve been through some dark seasons, and I feel like we overcame it because it was not, ‘Oh we’re not happy so then now we’re layered on guilt or like frustration because we’re not happy.’ It’s like the point was not the happiness, which is why we made it through some of these hard seasons well because the point was supporting each other.”
Johnson somewhat disagreed with her husband, saying that while happiness isn’t necessarily the goal, it is important within marriage.
“It matters to the storyline of where you are and how to support each other in a marriage to find fulfillment and to find joy,” Johnson said. “A byproduct of that is happiness. So, though the goal of marriage is not to just always be happy because you’re going to go through it, I do think a goal of a marriage is to see your spouse where they are in any given moment so that you can help them get back.”
The former Olympian was also vulnerable about how her husband sometimes might think fleeting emotions don’t matter in the moment, but she believes they should be acknowledged.
“You think in the moment my sadness doesn’t matter because it’s fleeting,” she said. “It does matter because if you aren’t actively acknowledging it and working as a couple and as a marriage to get back to joy, to get back to happiness, then the rumination and the issues will always be there, so then you won’t find joy and fulfillment.”
East reflected, saying the “pathway” in marriage is not happiness; it is to work together. “I agree we should meet together as a couple and work together. I think, though, the path does not lead to joy and fulfillment like, that’s not the path that we’re on in my mind,” he said.
Johnson reiterated, “I think the acknowledgement of that and understanding that in a spouse is important.”
East admitted his own weakness that he struggles with: “I do know it is hard for me to talk about feelings in a fully self-aware manner and I get confused with it.”
Johnson concluded that, while happiness is not the focus in marriage, as we work on ourselves, happiness becomes the by-product of it.
“Marriage doesn’t have to come with being happy every single day…we agree on this. But it should be a goal…to be a light and not to be a darkness,” she emphasized.
The couple are very open about their relationship and hope it can help others. Previously Johnson discussed how we change as people throughout our relationships, and that is okay.
“Yes, your spouse will change,” she said last November. “They will go through phases of life where they are completely different than the person you married, but that’s also part of the adventure of life: going through these ups and downs and falling back in love with each one of those people.”
Related: Shawn Johnson East Prioritizes Marriage While Raising Toddlers
Johnson and East love the life they’ve built together, and their sweet relationship dynamic is visible across their content.
“Reminder to choose the nice guy so your kids can have a dad like this,” Johnson posted along with a video of East playing in the pool with two of their kids. “My heart,” she added.
Read Next: ‘Go to Church’: What Shawn Johnson East, Husband Wish They Knew in Their 20s
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