By Michaela Gordoni
TobyMac has suffered a lot these last few years, but he keeps his head up and listens for God’s direction — to live in the moment.
The artist lost his son, Truett, in 2019, his sister in 2020 and his best friend, Gabe Patillo, last year.
“God is teaching me, more than anything, that moment by moment, no matter what,” each moment is divinely appointed from Him. “I tend to look ahead,” he told ChurchLeaders.com.
“I know even on, like, writing songs and stuff I’m looking to the next thing. I just finished a record, I just put it out, [and] I’m already trying to write new ones so, like, it’s just the way I’m wired.”
But the pain is still ever-present.
“It’s like it’s right there always,” he said in another recent interview. “The only way I make it is to believe that God loves me and he loves Truett. And I know Truett had an intimate relationship with God.”
He believes that every person he meets is someone God put in his life, so he doesn’t take that for granted.
“I think God is really bearing down on me to realize that every appointment throughout my day is him putting this person in front of me, or him giving me this moment of time for peace, or him speaking to me through someone.” TobyMac said, “So trying to just stay in that literal moment, and trying to serve God, not Toby.”
Related: TobyMac Has ‘Deeper Relationship with God’ After Son’s Death
“If I dare call Him Lord, that makes me servant, and a servant waits on the request of his Lord, and that’s how I want to live,” TobyMac said.
TobyMac’s newest album, Heaven On My Mind, processes his grief.
“It’s walking through this and getting to a point where you can breathe again and live again,” TobyMac told PEOPLE. “And still grieving deeply, but gaining a footing to where you can throw your fist up in the air and say, ‘I’m going to live. I’m going to live to honor God…and to believe, but also to honor my son.'”
It features songs “Rearview,” “God Did It,” “Nothin’ Sweeter” and “Oh My Soul (Psalm 103). There’s also one song, “Goodbye,” which he wrote for Patillo.
Do you listen to the Lord for direction?
He says the reason he wrote the album was because he believes his loved ones are there in heaven, waiting for him.
He said, “It’s not like I’m standing around just thinking about eternity or heaven. I feel like I’m here and I want to live every day with purpose. I’m here for a reason. I don’t want to miss what’s in front of me.”
Like TobyMac, we too can take hope in eternity if we’ve trusted Jesus as our savior.
Read Next: TobyMac Pens Deeply Emotional Thank You After Son’s Funeral
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