Utah State Football Coach Holds On To Faith Amid Grief, Loss
By Movieguide® Contributor
Utah State Football coach Blake Anderson has experienced tremendous loss but relied on his faith to find purpose in his pain.
In 2019, Anderson’s wife Wendy died after battling breast cancer. In 2020, Anderson lost his father, and in 2022, Anderson’s son Cason took his own life at the age of 21.
Anderson joined the Sports Spectrum podcast to discuss how he was processing his grief and its impact on his life.
“I’ll never be the same person I was,” he explained. “You know we were able to prepare for Wendy’s battle, it was visible, it was rough. But we did it together and there were a lot of great people around us. But because of her faith, we knew where she was going to be. It was very similar with my dad as well.”
However, nothing can prepare a parent for the unexpected loss of a child.
“Losing Cason has been much different. I thought I knew what grief was and what pain was. I can tell you that I didn’t. What this last year has been like has been a struggle. Until you really go through it, it’s hard to explain. There is seldom a minute that goes by where he’s not in my thoughts,” Anderson shared.
He continued, “I got a call from him when he rededicated his life to Christ on a mission trip in high school. I remember those moments. You know, there’s peace in knowing where he is and that he’s with his mom and grandfather in the presence of Christ. But the pain of losing a child is unlike anything I can explain to anyone.”
Anderson opened up about his son’s death in an emotional video on Utah State’s Twitter page.
#MentalHealthMatters@chbanderson 's Story 💚 pic.twitter.com/CpIJHMyF1S
— USU Football (@USUFootball) September 19, 2022
“Our lives changed forever on February 28th, 2022, just six months ago,” Anderson stated. “A phone call from my brother on a Monday morning told me that Cason didn’t show up for work this morning, and nobody could find him.”
“We had all been reaching out to him,” he added. “I had talked to him on Thursday, and we had a great conversation. He was laughing his head off and cutting it up like he always does. They would all tell you that Cason was normal and Cason had the biggest smile in the room, the biggest laugh in the room. He was always the jokester, always a sarcastic prankster.”
However, Cason was suffering. Anderson became very emotional when discussing what he felt the night of Cason’s death.
“Somewhere in the middle of the night, when everybody was gone, Cason went to a place that was so dark, that he didn’t want to do it anymore,” Anderson said. “He didn’t want to be here anymore, and he took his own life. Questions were all that were left. Why didn’t I see it? Could I have helped more? What could I have done? I mean…There were no red flags, no warning signs. He always made sure to tell you that he was OK.”
But he concluded with this, “Mental health matters. I encourage you, if you or someone you know is hurting, step up, speak out and do everything you can to help them find the resources they need.”
Anderson concluded the podcast, saying, “I don’t know how we function without our faith. I’d be an absolute disaster. I would be angry. I would be worthless to anybody. But the presence of the Holy Spirit, God’s speaking to me in my heart and in my ear. That constant look of ‘I gotcha, I’m gonna use this.’ You’re not alone. He promises us that trials and struggles are coming. We shouldn’t be surprised by it. I can either blame God and be angry or lean on Him and let him use it.”
Sports Spectrum reported, “In his first two seasons with the Aggies, he won 17 games and led his club to back-to-back bowl games (capturing the LA Bowl in 2021). Prior to arriving at Utah State, Anderson was the head man for Arkansas State from 2014-2020.”
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